Last Chance To Unload

The holidays are fast approaching and I thought I would dole out some advice to prepare for the season. If you can’t stand the one you’re with then you better kick them to the curb now before Christmas comes. My rule of thumb is to break up before thanksgiving. I had a guy break up with me on thanksgiving and give me a whole hell of alot to be thankful for. Like not having to buy him a Christmas present. If you break up with someone or get dumped during the holidays then I hope you saved the receipt. Or you can do the whole awkward, I wish I wasn’t here but since I spent the money we may as well do the gift exchange. But be careful, because the gift you chose in October to express your love may seem like a slap in the face in December. You might want to give that gift certificate for a couples massage to someone else. If someone dumped me and still gave me the ab roller I asked for I would shove it up their ass. “You really broke up with because you think I’m fat!” So, if you have not dropped off your unwanted romantic baggage by now, then you may have to stick it out til after valentines day. No one wants to be the heartless asshole that broke up with someone during the holidays. But, no one wants to deal with the ex that won’t accept that they are an ex and ruin your holiday plans by getting drunk and showing up at your office Christmas party. If you missed the deadline you can still look on the bright side. You’ll definitely have a date for new years eve.